In Class

The temptation to be online in class is quite large, which is why I don't bring my laptop to class.

But, today, I did. And, alas, I am online during a very boring lecture. The class is generally pretty easy, and most of the work is done outside of class.

Of course, a ridiculous proportion of our mark is based on a 7-week game I play. Quite ridiculous, to be honest.

On other notes, I moved down to an easier Computer Science course, while taking a midterm for said course on Monday. I've also fallen behind on assignments (relatively... usually I'm done Friday's assignments by now), so I'm sort of worried.

It's the middle of the week already... wow. Not much else to say at the moment (sorry for the semi-mediocre poasting).

Dealing With Insecurity

It's pretty clear: everyone wants to be more. Smarter, better-looking, funnier, more athletic... there's a lot of ways we go on our impossible mission.

Others know this, too. Marketing is often designed to tell us how we can improve. How we can make ourselves worth more. Different products all attempt to help the consumer in a very shallow way.

And then we can look at ourselves. How we compare whether someone is good-looking or not. Or determining ourselves by the grades we get. It's a never-ending cycle of sadness, despair, and self-centeredness.

And what happens if we actually got what we wanted? Would we really be happy? Would we want more, always discontent as we find others to compare ourselves to? Maybe we'd want less. Maybe what we want is just fool's gold.

We, as people, change. We get opportunities to project an image that differs from who we truly are. And many of us do: it's convenient, to say the least. I know that I do.

But if that is what we truly want, maybe what we really need to change isn't something that can be measured.

Looking For New Music

After discovering DC++, I need to discover new music.

Any ideas, anyone?

I <3 Kelsey Chow

Apparently Kelsey Chow is returning to One Tree Hill as Gigi. I haven't watched the past few episodes, but I hope this is true.

Oh, celebrity crushes.

Lonely

You don't realize how much everything has changed until everything has slowed down.

And, right now, at this moment, it hurts.

Fact Check

http://www.factcheck.org/

Use it, before you think that Sarah Palin tried to ban books in libraries, or before you think that Obama has aligned himself with terrorists.

Now, we really need one in Canada.

A Lonely Thanksgiving

So,

It turns out I will be stuck at Waterloo for Thanksgiving. What a special way to spend it......

I had a couple of offers from students to go over to their places, but my paranoia/"pai seh"'ness made me refuse, of course. I was also planning on visiting a few friends at Queen's, but I just realized I have two midterms next week, and a whole lot of homework, and now I feel the urgency to work hard and stay ahead (since I know that if I went over, I wouldn't do much work anyway). Saves me some money as well (some being a lot).

On another unrelated note, I really need a haircut. Or maybe I'll just grow it out. Who knows?

An Introduction to Failure

Throughout High School, failure was never an option. It was success, or even greater success. Things I did generally had no repercussions, and I had little difficult accomplishing what I sought out to do.

I guess two failures in two days was an extreme disappointment to me. Outside of failing my driving test the first time, I have never experienced such disheartening times in my life. Essentially, it makes me feel that who I am is not enough.

Nonetheless, I know that I have to continue, life goes on. I cannot dwell on the mistakes I made, but have to hope to continue to improve, and to become a better person.

There will be other opportunities, other moments of greatness, other moments of sadness, and I guess it's time to enter. The best moments of my life never exist without the worst moments, the deep pains.

Open wide this window.